Q&A with Bride-to-be, Stef

Today, we are chatting to the lovely Bride-to-be, Stef about how she met her partner Jace and how they didn’t want a wedding, but wanted to elope in the USA. Find out what made them change their decision and much more…

1. Where did you meet your partner?
I met my partner at a house party in 2009. I fell through a beer pong table. I’d just moved to the city for my job as a music lecturer & I started to gig on the local music scene, & we eventually became mates because he was also gigging too. We’d often end up playing at the same gigs.

2. How long had you been together before you became engaged?
We became a couple in March/April 2014. We did split up in 2018 for six months, but got back together & he proposed in July 2019. So five years before engagement & six together (ish!).

3. Can you remember an exact point when you looked at your partner and thought “he’s the one!”
The exact moment I knew he was the one was at my aunty’s wedding in 2015. My wonderful Grandad had passed away two weeks before, & Jace & I played a set of music together for the evening do. Afterwards we were outside with my Nan & she got cold. He put his jacket around her to keep her warm & she said “you remind me of John” (John was my Grandad). It was a defining moment for me because my Grandad was such a light in my world & the most gentle man I ever knew.

4. Where and how did the proposal take place? Was it expected or a complete shock?
We were in Wilmington, North Carolina, where they film Dawson’s Creek. We go on holiday there most years as part of our annual USA road trips. We were at the Hell’s Kitchen bar, chatting about our mate’s upcoming wedding. He said “how about us then?” & I said “yeah in the future we will” & he said “no, I mean, this is me asking you”…so I said no. I told him he had to do it properly. So, we walked home & went onto the balcony overlooking the river walk, & he got down on one knee at sunset & asked to marry me. Then we celebrated at Elijah’s restaurant!

5. What does marriage mean to you?
Marriage is an equal partnership between two people working their way through life with one another. My Nan has always said that marriage isn’t easy & it isn’t a fairytale. She says it’s “bloody hard work”, & she was married to my Grandad from the age of 18, she’s nearly 80. I know what she says is true. Humans were built for companionship, but not necessarily to remain with one person for the rest of their life. That’s a human construct. Therefore, challenges will happen. Marriage is how you overcome them together, becoming stronger as individuals & a unit.

6. Did you both have the opportunity to meet each other’s families before the engagement?
I’ve known his family for many years as I taught his brother Josh on the music course. He met my mum, mum’s fiancé, Nan & Grandad (when he was alive) in the first year we were together. Oh & my brothers too!

7. Have you always had a set idea of how you’d like your wedding day or are you open to ideas?
To be honest, we didn’t want a wedding. We wanted to elope in the USA, but Jace lost both his Grandad’s this year & I think he felt pressured to have a wedding for his family, as they’re very traditional & catholic. My family told me to elope because they’re not too fussed. We’re just having a wedding full of music, which is what we both are passionate about.

8. Are you planning a small intimate ceremony or a large wedding?
Our wedding ceremony is 50 people & evening is 75. Not too big. Our friendship group is made up of the same people, so it was easy to keep it small.

9. Have you enjoyed wedding planning so far? What’s been the most enjoyable part? What’s been the most stressful part?
Wedding planning has only been made difficult by other people trying to force us to expand our guest list, which I’ll be honest, has caused arguments between us. I think people think wedding planning is going to be a bed of roses, full of love & excitement but it isn’t always. Family members do get involved & cause unnecessary stress. Just be firm with them.
My favourite part has been crafting. I’ve done all of my own dried flower arrangements, boutonnières, bouquet charms, confetti, invites etc. Crafting is my little wedding bubble!

10. What are your future plans together?
Our future plans together are to move into a bigger home, for Jace to qualify as a lawyer, & to get a new dog. I’d also like to move jobs too. We both do not want children, so we’d like to fill our lives with travelling & music. We’re aiming to visit every state in the USA before we die!

Thank you for taking the time to chat with us today, we hope you continue enriching your life’s with music and travel!
We wish you all the happiness in the world.

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